Dear Jess,
One of my favorite hobbies is shopping. I used to shop all the time, but over the past year I've gained some weight. Now it's embarrassing to shop with my friends! They are all looking for size 4 clothes when I need a size 8. I feel so insecure. And to make it worse, my little brother says things like, "Wow, you are so fat!" I realize siblings are supposed to be annoying, but it really breaks down my confidence. Please help!
Tatalana
Dear Tatalana,
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Somehow it has become socially acceptable to comment on other people's weight, but that is so uncool. It doesn't matter if someone is joking or if he is actually trying to be mean — it still hurts. Other people's opinions can upset us and make us see nothing but negativity when we look in the mirror. Sometimes ignoring a person or just walking away can make him stop. But his voice may linger in your head, especially when the comments come from a family member.
Instead of trying to change other people, change yourself! Create a new label for your identity — one that celebrates your best qualities and reminds you of everything you want to achieve! The next time your brother makes a comment, say: "That's not who I am! I'm a girl who's going to change the world." You might not get the instant results, but over time he'll see that his works don't affect you. Remember: Real beauty comes from within — and confidence is a great way to bring it out. It might not happen quickly, but you will start to notice a difference in the way you think about yourself, and in the way other people speak to you.
Blessings,
Jess
