POV: you just discovered the vast world of self-pleasure and masturbation and you're not really sure how to talk about it, let alone who to talk about it with. You may have tons of questions racing through your mind as you try to navigate your sexuality as a first-timer, like where to begin or how to even properly masturbate. And, while you may figure your fingers can do the trick, there are also other options to explore when it comes to solo sex — enter, the vibrator.
If you're feeling a lil overwhelmed because you don't have much (or any) experience with solo sex or don't really know how to use a vibrator or get started, this is a totally safe space where we can be transparent and learn together. Dr. Jennifer Lincoln, Medical Advisor for The Body Agency, and Jenn Chang, Head of Product Design at sex and wellness brand Cake, help debunk masturbation myths, break down all the best practices and tips for using vibrators, and explain why vibrators aren't as intimidating as you may think.
Ahead, find everything you need to know about masturbation, different types of vibrators, cleaning tips, and more.
Are there any benefits to masturbation?
Believe it or not, solo sex is totally normal and can actually help your mental and physical health. A study by the Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine found that masturbating helps release tension in your body.
"Masturbation is a great stress reliever and the beauty of it is you don't need to rely on anyone to help you out with it," Dr. Lincoln says. "It's also been linked to helping people fall asleep."
Solo sex not only helps you figure out what gives you pleasure but helps you feel more confident during partnered sex, which can lead to more fulfilling and healthy relationships. Dr. Lincoln adds that there's no risk of sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy with masturbation.
Dame Dip Basic Vibrator - Periwinkle
In what ways does using a vibrator enhance your sexual experience?
While your hands are great tools for masturbating, using a vibrator can make your ~alone time~ more fun. From bullet vibrators to those more advanced, rabbit-inspired toys, there are plenty of options out there to explore different methods of self-pleasure. According to a study by the U.S. Library of Medicine, vibrations increase blood flow and improve both pelvic muscle tone and relaxation, and they're more likely to help you orgasm.
"Vibrators can be great as they can add extra stimulation to wherever feels good for you, whether it's the clitoris, in the vagina, or other erogenous zones," Dr. Lincoln explains. "The ability to take your orgasms into your own hands (and that of your vibrator) is a fantastic way to take charge of your sex life and your pleasure."
I'm a beginner. How do I actually use a vibrator?
Using a vibrator comes down to your sexual preferences and what makes you feel comfortable.
"Set the mood, take your time, and explore," Chang suggests. "Find a setting you think is fun and use it on different parts of your body to see how it feels. Remember, there's no 'right' way to pleasure yourself."
However, there are several things to know before you invest in one of your own. To find the right vibrator (and use it properly), follow the tips below.
Gain more insight from reviews
Before you drop some money on a vibrator, read the reviews. The style may work well for some people, but it may not be a fit for others. Use specific keywords to find reviews from others looking for a similar experience as you.
"It's great to know that different kinds of vibrators exist in size, shape, and vibration options, but I think it's a very personal decision," Dr. Lincoln says. "The beauty of the internet is that you can virtually browse and purchase one that you think might be right for you without having to step into a store if you are worried about keeping things private."
Read the instructions
This is a given, but reading the instructions on your new tool will help you ease into it and use it properly. Plus, there may be a few settings and features that you'd probably be unaware of unless you read the instructions. It's important to understand how the product is meant to be used before you dive into it.
"Toys are meant to bring fun into your experience. Make sure you're in a comfortable space mentally and physically," Chang says.
Make sure it's properly cleaned
While solo sex prevents pregnancy and STIs, there are also some health risks if you don't clean sex toys properly. Both Chang and Dr. Lincoln emphasized the importance of cleaning and sterilizing your toys on the reg.
"I make sure to wash and dry my toys after each use," Chang says. She also explains that you should be using cleaners that are specifically formulated for intimate devices.
"It's super important to read the instructions of your particular toy to know how to keep it clean and in working order," Lincoln says.
Clean Porous vs. Nonporous Toys Differently
There are two categories of sex toys — porous and nonporous — that are differentiated by the materials they're made of. Knowing what your toys are made of is a crucial step in cleaning and sterilizing them properly. Below, find which category your toy may fall under.
Nonporous toys are made of:
- Silicone
- Glass
- Metal
- ABS hard plastic
According to Sara Kloepfer of sex and wellness brand Bellesa, nonporous materials don't let bacteria through and are generally easy to clean. To clean nonporous toys, you can use toy cleaners and wipes with gentle formulas or unscented soap and water. You can also boil materials like silicone, heat-resistant glass, and stainless steel to cleanse.
Cake Foaming Toy Cleaner
Aneros Unscented Antibacterial Wipes
Swiss Navy Intimate Toy Cleaner Spray
Trinity Vibes Toy Cleaner
Porous toys are made of:
- Hard plastic
- Cyberskin
- Elastomer
- Jelly rubber
- Nylon
- Vinyl
- Acrylic
- Leather
- Neoprene
Kleopfer also noted that porous materials tend to be absorbent, which means they can't be completely sterilized and should only be cleaned with gentle hand or dish soap and warm water.
Disinfecting versus Cleaning
"Disinfecting and cleaning are two entirely different things, so it's important to know the difference and sanitize accordingly," Dr. Lincoln adds.
Think of sterilizing as a deep clean — this method gets rid of bacteria and dry body fluids that remain on your toys after use. Toys should be sterilized if you have a yeast infection if they're used by more than one person, or after anal use. Even if you're in the clear when it comes to infections, you should still make a habit to sterilize your toy once in a while.
It's important to note that only nonporous toys can be sterilized, and you'll need to use strong ingredients like alcohol and bleach to properly rid of the germs. If you go for the bleach, Kleopfer recommends using a 10% bleach-to-water solution before rinsing well.
Finally, when it comes to vibrators, it's best not to let a friend try it out. "It's best not to share toys but if you do, using a condom and disinfecting it is one way to make it safer," Lincoln says.
Check if the battery is full
The last thing you want is for your vibrator to lose its juice before you hit your sweet spot. If your toy is battery-operated, make sure you have some fresh ones handy. Some toys are rechargeable — just make sure it's fully charged before you start your solo sesh, because it's not recommended for use while plugged in.
Have some lubricant handy
This step is optional, but lubricant can be helpful to reduce the friction that might cause discomfort. It's important to note that the kind of lube you use depends on the material of your vibrator. For example, if the vibrator is made of silicone, a water-based lube will help preserve the material and avoid damaging it.
Stop if you feel uncomfortable
In any sexual experience — with a partner or solo — you have the authority over what makes you feel good. "You know your body. Don't continue use if it hurts. Toys are designed with specific anatomy in mind, so make sure to use the right products for the designated body part," Chang says.
If something doesn't feel right or comfortable, it's okay to stop. You can always revisit your vibe another time when you're ready.
Sam is an assistant news editor at Cosmo, covering all things pop culture, entertainment, and celebrity news. She previously covered those same topics along with health, lifestyle, and beauty at Seventeen. When she isn't draping her cheeks in blush, you can probably find her live-tweeting awards shows or making SwiftToks.
